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Exploring the Silence, by Richard Mahler
A critical step in the embrace of silence and solitude is setting aside the notion that we have to be "doing something" throughout our waking hours. For most of us, this goes against what we have been taught since childhood: that being active and productive is the best way to proceed.

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EMBRACING SILENCE
10 SIMPLE THINGS YOU CAN DO TO BRING SILENCE,
STILLNESS, AND SOLITUDE INTO YOUR DAILY LIFE

1. Turn off the phone. A telephone can be a tyrant: demanding your undivided attention with its insistent ring—and the implication that you must drop everything to engage in conversation. If you're not dealing with something urgent, a call can wait. Use an answering device to take messages and turn off the ringer. Screening techniques can be used to identify callers without answering. If you have a fax machine, ignore it for a while.

2. Walk in a park. Chances are there's a park within easy walking, bicycling, or driving distance from where you live. Take some time to experience the natural quiet of trees and grass. Even in urban areas, a park is more tranquil than the busy streets that surround it. If there's a fountain or stream, so much the better, since the "white noise" of flowing water screens human-made sounds and soothes the soul.

3. Ignore the computer. Like the phone, fax, and message machine, a humming computer begs for attention. Don't give in. Your e-mail, the Internet, and unfinished work will still be there when you're ready to return to them. If there's a computer in your bedroom, consider moving it so that it won't intrude on your sleep or relaxation. The same goes for the TV set, which too often takes the place of contemplation, intimate conversation, or lovemaking.

4. Go on a media fast. Many of us feel the day hasn't really started until we read the newspaper or check the headlines on TV or radio. Yet news by definition is seldom good. Do you really need to know about the murder, mayhem, or stock market dive? Give yourself a treat by going without news for a full day. The habit may be easier to break than you imagined.

5. Have a quiet car. Driving is stressful enough, especially in rush hour traffic. Lower the tension and reduce the distraction by turning off the radio, tape/CD player, and telephone. Roll up the windows to shut out the road noise. Pay attention to your driving, but also to the scenery you're passing and what's going on inside your head—and heart.

6. Eat a meal in silence. Most of us don't pay much attention to the food we eat. We're too busy talking, reading, watching TV, or working. Try cutting out the distractions and let yourself really see, taste, smell, and savor your food. Enjoying a delicious meal can instantly comfort and relax us, particularly in the company of loved ones.

7. Take a hot bath. Make an announcement: "I am disappearing into the bathroom for an hour. Please do not disturb me!" Light a candle; add oils, salts, or scents to the water; stretch out against a bathtub pillow; close your eyes and luxuriate in steamy sensuality. Alternatively, take a long, hot shower and let the water wash your cares and woes away. Let your mind drift and if you feel like singing, let loose!

8. Go to your room and close the door. As with your bath, let others in the household know that you will be a much happier and kinder person if you take some time to be alone. Do what's needed to let go of your stress and recover your psychological balance. This may mean stretching out on the bed, sitting on a meditation pillow, or doing some yoga exercises. Maybe you'd like to draw, play an instrument, or listen to some soothing music. Keep it simple and tranquil.

9. Find the quietest time and most splendid place you know. The world at dawn is special, often the most calm and beautiful hour of the day. A secluded corner of your garden—or home—may inspire serenity. Whatever the space and time, find that restful sanctuary and let it fill you with rapture.

10. Turn off the TV. We use it to relax, to inform, and to entertain. But it sometimes can drain our energy or add to our tension. Let the TV set know who’s boss. You may find that an hour without TV's stimulation (and constant homage to consumerism) leaves you much more refreshed and relaxed than if you'd let a program suck you in.

“Companion article reprinted with permission from Richard Mahler and Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC, publishers of Stillness: Daily Gifts of Solitude (Red Wheel/Weiser LLC, $21.95, ISBN 1-59003-042-7). To order, please contact Red Wheel/Weiser at: (800) 423-7087.”